How to Let go of Control and Give it all to God
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Suffering is something that is part of our lives. There is no escaping it. If we try to escape it, we will derail the growth that God has for us and we end up suffering still, but in a more painful, longer, non-productive way. Learning how to suffer well is one of the most important things we can do in this life. I believe it is something that isn't talked about a lot in the church and in the Christian community and it has been on my heart a lot lately.
Before we get into that I want to introduce myself. My name is Brittany, I am wife, mom of 3 littles, church leader, and Marriage and Family Therapist turned coach. I run the Morning Mama Podcast where I get to help moms heal their minds and spirits so they can live the motherhood they were made for.
Let’s dive right in.
What is Surrender?
Surrender is a hard topic. Open your heart today and see where God takes you with this. Surrender is letting go of control. His plans are greater than our ways, His plans are greater than our plans. Whatever comes up in our life we have to land in a place where we know He is a good God that wants good things for us.
Trust is this feeling where we are able to relax and let go. Surrender is the action that stems from trust. The cool thing is we don't fully have to have the feeling of trust to truly surrender. There are times when we know we should trust God, but we don't feel it. Surrender is this beautiful step that we can take out of that space of trust whether we feel it or not. Surrender is more of an action and getting to a place where we open our hands and we let it go whatever we are trying to control and the fears that we have. We surrender it into God's hands.
Surrender Each and Every Day
The beginning step of me even learning about this concept was when a friend told me that the first thing she does when she wakes is she tells God “God, I surrender my day to you. I surrender everything to you." This means surrendering our thoughts, feelings, words, emotions, plans, children, and marriage. Everything we hold tight in our hands we want to release to God. If you are still trying to figure this out in your life, I would start with that every morning. I have been faithful to do that and over time I have faced many issues and I have had to surrender. It has been so pivotal in my life to get me on that trajectory to try to start my day with these open hands to God's plans. We want to get to this place so we are not leading our days and taking things in control when they should be in God's control.
That doesn't mean we don't make plans, take action, and be intentional with our days. We want to utilize the time God gave us. We set the plans, we show up with intentionality, but we do it with open hands and be ok with God changing those plans. This can be having an unanticipated conversation with someone who really needs encouragement right now or needs to be invited to church or needs help with something. I am going to listen to those plans that the Lord has for me. This can get difficult though and you need to make sure you are setting up healthy boundaries, wisdom, and discernment and figure out if it is the Holy Spirit leading you or it is something distracting you from what you are supposed to be doing. This doesn't mean that every call that happens in your day is from God.
It is good to ask the questions:
God, what do you have for me today?
What do you want to do through me?
What do you want to speak through me?
What divine encounters do you have waiting for me?
When we learn to do this everyday it helps us get comfortable with this concept of surrender.
Surrendering the Anxiety to God
Just like how some people will physically train for a race, we start small and we slowly add more to the run and you work up towards that to prepare. He will start you off small when you surrender and will slowly grow you and help you walk through those hard things. When we are dealing with suffering, it is much more challenging to surrender. This day in age there is a fear with suffering especially with health anxiety in the mom community. This anxiety can really bring us down and start to question and think about the worst case scenario. The information that we have at our fingertips can perpetuate this fear of suffering. There is this constant nagging fear of suffering.
The goal here is to get to a place where we can surrender any kind of suffering that comes into our life. This sucks because this is not what we want. We don't want the worst case scenario. In order to get rid of the anxiety, we need to get to a place where we are ok with the worst case scenario. That doesn't mean I would choose it or that is what I want or what I am believing for. Remember we chose sin and sin brought suffering into the world and now suffering is the mechanism He uses in our life in order to grow us.
If He did not allow this suffering we would just be comfortable and stay where we are and live our lives without purpose and without changing others and we really miss out on the goodness of God - truly! I have gotten to a place in my life when there is suffering in a way I get excited because I see it as an opportunity to see what God does through this. Maybe I can help someone else through the same thing!
That doesn't mean that the pain is gone. It is healthy to sit in the pain and process the pain to truly heal. In the midst of the pain, I have this beautiful hope that God is continually working in my life, this world, and working in your life if you let Him! I have seen God work with me through those worst case scenarios and I see what He does through me and makes my life better because of it. In the midst of the suffering He refines me, makes me stronger, and makes me look more like Jesus. It helps me become a better wife and mother. It helps me be a light in the darkness, encourage others, and fight off the enemy. There is so much power that suffering brings.
Whatever you are walking through, whether big or small, I am so sorry and I know that pain is real. I want to tell you that sitting there and worrying about it is not helpful and does not prepare us. We think that if we think through every possibility that we will be in more control, but that is not true because our thoughts spiral and we are living in fear and not living in the present. We are worried about the past or the future and there is no joy or goodness. We need to get to this place on surrender where we receive it and accept it and He has us in His hands. I encourage you to do that work with God like journaling. Take them to the cross and know no matter what comes you are going to be ok.
Look to Jesus
Now, I am going to get to when you are actually in that suffering whether that is a diagnosis, a broken marriage, a death, or a job loss. It can be for small things as well. When sitting in the pain, it is easy to fight against it and pretend it’s not there and numb it. Or we fall into the victim mindset where we feel helpless, depressed, there is no hope, and we are stuck here. We can easily fall into these 2 camps. We all have these moments and that is ok, but we should not stay there.
We need to get to a place of peace where we are able to surrender to that suffering. When the pain comes, we know God is with us and God is using that pain to shape us and form us. None of our tears and hurt are wasted. When we submit to Him, He is going to use this far beyond anything we can ever imagine. In that process He is good, faithful, and with us.
Jesus paved the way for us with this. Let this sink in. We are trying to run away from suffering, but Jesus willingly suffered. It was a choice He made.. He was fully God and fully human and He felt everything we feel in our suffering. He was willingly betrayed. He paved this way for us. God doesn't cause evil, but He allows it because He knows it will help us grow and be changed - which is hard! Can we follow in Jesus’ footsteps? Your feelings do not have to be in line with the surrender. You can still act on it, even if you don’t want to, and let it go. We need to yield to God's plan like a child.
Reflection
Whatever you are facing today, mama, know that God is there with you and He promises to comfort you in it and He is using it on your behalf to refine you in ways you have never imagined and to help restore you even more fully to Him. I hope this encourages you to open your hands and let God's way be your way.
Now I want you to reflect on your life.
Where are you suffering right now?
How are you responding to this suffering?
In what ways can you lean into God during this season of suffering?
God has something amazing for you in the midst of this suffering.
Now, I want to hear from you! How has God shaped you in the midst of suffering? Comment below! Also, subscribe on any podcast platform.
Do you want to dive deeper? Sign up for the Pain to Peace Academy!
